I find writing my Blog very therapeutic. Sometimes I write them and don’t tell anyone they are there, it is just a way of getting things off my chest. The last Blog I wrote, I spoke briefly about my lack of confidence, the feeling of not being good enough. I never expect anything from my Blogs but the response to that one has been overwhelming.
I remember some years ago I hired someone to help me grow my business. She did a short questionnaire and asked what I thought I was and what I wanted. I told her I wanted to be known in the Tarot world, maybe write a book, develop the conference, but to somehow be known as someone who made a difference. She tutted and replied that I would never be good enough to fulfil that role and we would have to think of something else…….. Can you believe I bloody paid her to insult me!! Needless to say after lots of tears I plucked up the courage to get rid of her. Well I think I have more than proved myself, I don’t see her anymore but her name does occasionally cross my path, to be honest all I can think about her is ‘bitch’. I have no idea why I shared that story, I think I am just trying to justify the struggle, not only with myself but sometimes others. Anyway, I am good enough and this year things will change and balance will slowly be restored.
It is funny how we see ourselves and how we look through strangers eyes. So many kind words, what can I say, but thank you, you never know I might actually start believing it.